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Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that? Thanks for checking out the second installment of Johnny Recommends. This week, I'll be highlighting Sam Raimi's 1993 release, "Army of Darkness." Next week, maybe I'll look to inspire or make you think with my recommendation, but for today, let's make it campy as possible. "Army of Darkness" is... well, what do you say about this film. It is actually the third movie in the "Evil Dead" trilogy. If you really wanted to get thorough, rent "Evil Dead" one and two, then watch it. Not really necessary though, since the second is basically a remake of the first, but they are both summed up in the open credits of "Army of Darkness." YOU GOT THAT!? Sorry. So, AOD ("Army of Darkness" fools) follows the ridiculous Ash into the 14th century. How'd he get there? Glad you asked. Ready? OK. He got there by being sucked into a wormhole created by the Necronomicon (Book of the Dead) that he found while at a cabin in the middle of the woods with his girlfriend and friends but everyone started turning into Deadites (zombies) and he had to kill them but then it got into his hand, so he had to cut it off at the wrist and then attached a chainsaw to the stump to fight the undead. Whew, my English teacher would spin in her grave if she were dead and saw that sentence. So, we start the film with Ash being walked back to King Arthur's castle in the 14th century. Ash (played by the one and only Bruce Campbell) is not trusted by Arthur, believed to be one of Duke Henry's men. He tries to reason his way out, but to no avail. "I've never even seen this asshole before!" He's thrown into the pit, which houses a couple of Deadites. He fights his way out, decks Arthur, and lays down whats goin' down to the people of the village (see quote above). They convince him to search out the Necronomicon which will keep the Deadites at bay. This happens in hilarious fashion involving three books and three magical words, "Clatto Verata Nicto." Of course he doesn't say them correctly, and he awakens the Army of Darkness. The remainder of the film is uniting the clans to fight the Deadites..... guess who wins.... So, this sounds like a Sci Fi channel presents movie, I know. You have to trust me on this. This movie is hilarious. Bruce Campbell is over the top as Ash, playing him with a Duke Nukem flavor. Actually, if you played the first person shooter, Duke Nukem, you will recognize some of the lines in this movie, since they were pulled directly out of this movie and put into the game. The dialogue in this movie is done with tongues planted firmly in cheek. It is what it is. One liners amiss, sometimes it seems as if scenes are created around an one liner. You will not be disappointed though. Now, last week's recommendation had an overall philosophical quandry or idea that you had to pick a side on. Not this one. Sit down, enjoy the one liners and goofy action, then report back. If you don't like it, well, have your fucking head examined. You are taking your life wayyyy to seriously and need a break. You will NOT have a revelation from this movie. You will NOT learn anything from this movie. You WILL laugh your ass off when Ash is attacked by mini-versions of himself and battles two books, yes, he actually fights a book. Thanks and enjoy! Thanks for reading Johnny's Recommendations and do check out the film. If you have any questions, comments, or recommendations of your own that you would like to see me review, please email me at
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